in the heat of the night

Dear Americans,

Please do me one favor as you snuggle into your cozy beds with your fluffy feather pillows. Don't every take for granted the warmth you'll feel in the shower in the morning. All you'll have to do is turn the knob to the red and wet warmth with spill forth like blessings from heaven. You will bathe in a steamy sauna and emerge clean and refreshed, ready to start your American day. Enjoy this moment. Relish in knowing that you don't have to push a "boost" button 30 minutes to an hour before said shower. Take pride in the fact that your shower head does not slowly swing from side to side as you try and follow the traveling sprays below. Smile as you think about how your shower curtain stays put in it's place instead of creeping onto your leg and sticking to the backside of your entire body allowing buckets of water to spill out onto the bathroom floor forming a small wading pool under the vanity. Be content that you can shave not one, but two legs, before the water turns arctic and causes your entire body to slowly go numb and let out an occasional gasp for air. Be thankful that your shower is not like my shower. I am going to sleep tonight with clean hair and one shaved leg; that's all I could manage before the icicles began to form in my hair. So be thankful, my fellow Americans, for your fancy water heaters and spacious tubs. I envy you on this cold night in Edinburgh.

Sincerely,
Kelsey